survey: the autoblog podcast

"What do you like least about this show?"

Dan's incessant interruptions. If this is going to be The Dan Rant Show, let us know.

Seriously, if he wants to talk 100% of the time he needs his own d*mn podcast. Somebody needs to cut his microphone and ONLY turn it on when they want his input. He is incapable of letting other hosts finish their thoughts. If you don't believe me, pick ANY episode and listen for 60 seconds.

Dan is to Autoblog Podcast as Dvorak is to This Week in Tech.

Dear SUV-driving douchebag

Dear Douchebag:

I think we had a moment there; did you feel the same?

Me: rolling up to the red light on a motorcycle.

You: swerving over into my lane at the last possible moment without looking or blinking, talking on the cellphone, your Escalade with Texas Tech plates ending up at a 45deg angle across two lanes.

Good thing I changed the brake pads on the bike this weekend; I chirped the front tire getting stopped before you drove over me. Good thing that 20 yrs on two wheels has trained me to automatically assume all drivers are idiots; I cover my controls, practice emergency stops and wear ATGATT. I understand my bike may be hard to see: it's neon yellow, tall as a horse, had the high beam on, was in a lane position where I could see your face in your own side mirror, etc.

Oh, and...

You: making a U-turn as soon as the light turned green again. You didn't have right-of-way, causing cars in the oncoming lane to brake so they didn't t-bone your inconsiderate, non-driving, self-absorbed, clueless ass. I hope the sounds of their howling, braking tires didn't disturb your phone call too much. You didn't seem to notice.

Someday you'll pull that crap with a train or semi and you will lose. I hope the semi driver doesn't spill his coffee as he drives over you.

Sincerely,

bloggermouse

Oh, you wacky homophobes

From this article on TPM:

It's no good for a family values Republican to get picked up on a DUI. But substantially worse to get picked up for a DUI after leaving a gay nightclub with an unidentified man in a state vehicle.

That's a hypocrisy trifecta, I think.

Dear AAA Texas

You have convinced me to never buy a "membership" to your service.

You sent me junk mail marked Second Notice, as if it were an overdue bill. If you are willing to lie to me before you get my money how can I trust you after you get what you want?

douche hat trick

1. 40-ssomething weasel
2. with a terrible perm-looking reddish 'fro
3. driving his beemer
4. m3
5. convertible
6. while touchscreening his iPhone
7. beemer has a douchey personalized plate I won't repeat, and (wait for it...)
   
8. a Mensa license plate frame

All the d-bag planets were in alignment. I believe this is a sign of the pending Apocalypse.