Monday, March 15, 2010

Dear SUV-driving douchebag

Dear Douchebag:

I think we had a moment there; did you feel the same?

rolling up to the red light on a motorcycle.
You: swerving over into my lane at the last possible moment without looking or blinking, talking on the cellphone, your Escalade with Texas Tech plates ending up at a 45deg angle across two lanes.

Good thing I changed the brake pads on the bike this weekend; I chirped the front tire getting stopped before you drove over me. Good thing that 20 yrs on two wheels has trained me to automatically assume all drivers are idiots; I cover my controls, practice emergency stops and wear ATGATT. I understand my bike may be hard to see: it's neon yellow, tall as a horse, had the high beam on, was in a lane position where I could see your face in your own side mirror, etc.

Oh, and...

You: making a U-turn as soon as the light turned green again. You didn't have right-of-way, causing cars in the oncoming lane to brake so they didn't t-bone your inconsiderate, non-driving, self-absorbed, clueless ass. I hope the sounds of their howling, braking tires didn't disturb your phone call too much. You didn't seem to notice.

Someday you'll pull that crap with a train or semi and you will lose. I hope the semi driver doesn't spill his coffee as he drives over you.


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